Chris's Journey #50: Day 100

Issue #50: Day 100
             
So I finally passed the milestone of a 100 walks. It took a lot longer than I expected it to. Well over 365 days. In all fairness of the main reasons was due to the bariatric surgery I had that saved my life. With that surgery, I did have to take about a month off to recover and heal. So last Thursday I came strolling up to work to walk the paths around my office. It was finally time to have my 100th walk.

Looking at my Runtastic app I saw that if I walked 4.5 miles that I would also cross over the 200 mile barrier. That was important to me. 200 miles in 100 walks meant a 2 mile average. In the first walks that I did, I was happy to get over a mile. Since about the 60th walk and on, I have tried to get over 2 miles each walk. I also from time to time really pushed myself to see my limits and how much I have improved. Speed was always one way I tried to test myself. Getting under the 20 minute mile was a huge accomplishment for me. I remember just staring at the screen when I saw that I got less than 20 minutes for the first time.  July 1, 2014. I walked 2.07 miles that day and on my second mile I did a 19:43 mile. It was amazing to get that done. Now I am routinely doing around 18 minute miles with getting under 18 minutes from time to time. The other way that I push myself is distance. The first 5K (over 3 miles) was amazing. I did not think I wanted to do anymore. Then 2 weeks ago, I walked over 4 miles in one walk (4.24 to be exact). I really felt like I want to curl up in a ball and never get up after that walk. I was exhausted and my knees and back were aching for days afterwards. I figured anything over 4 miles would be a little ways away.

So to go back to Thursday’s day 100 walk, did I really want to try for 4.5 miles? A number I had never done before and was difficult even getting near. I really should not do this, but I really wanted my 200 miles in 100 walks. I took Thursday off, just so that I could do this walk. I tried to recruit a friend to walk with me, but she was unable to. So it was going to be me and my headphones. I like walking in the morning, so I figured I would get it knocked out quickly. I ended up sleeping terribly on Wednesday in to Thursday, only getting about 4 hours sleep. So for the morning, I was lazy. I did not do much. I did not want to do much. I started to talk myself out of walking. I can do it another day. Then as He always does, God sent me a little nudge. He had my friend Melissa text me to ask if I had done it yet. I said no, but I would get it in. There it was…now I had to do it. I strapped my shoes on and headed to work to walk the trails.

I told myself not to worry about the 4.5 miles, just do a nice walk and get the 100th walk over with. But as I got to work, I got a little energy. The weather was cool and the wind was not bad. It was a little overcast, but nothing terrible. I talked with Francesca (my trainer) and told her my idea. I told her about the 4.5 miles. I told her of 200 miles in 100 walks. She was nothing but supportive. I can do this…and if it rained a little, not to worry. A little rain never hurt anyone. I decided to do it. It was time to break two milestones. I plan my route with Francesca and got my headphones out and chose my playlist. I hit play and began to walk.

As I began, I got a phone call from a dear friend. It was about some really rough news about another dear friend. The news was tough to hear because it was not good. Well, now I had my motivation. I walk for friends of mine who cannot walk for themselves. I walk for my Godson Jacob and I walk for my buddy Andy who is going through chemo. So I added this friend to my list of who I was walking for and kept walking.

The playlist on my phone played good song after good song. I crossed a major road (Southside Blvd) to get to the long part of my walk. I began the long part of my walk, going further and further and on a route I had never walked. The clouds I noticed started getting darker and darker, but no rain fell. I kept walking. I hit 2 miles going one way. In order to get back, I would have to walk another 2 miles. That is 4 miles…not good enough yet. I had to keep going. The clouds kept getting darker. No going back. No compromise. I had to do this. I got to what ended up as my midpoint and decided to head back. I was at 2.5 miles. If I finished this walk it would be 5 miles. My legs felt a little heavy, but I felt strong enough to finish. No compromise. I had three people I was walking for.

I felt a drop of rain fall on me. A crash of lightning sounded what felt like right above my head. The drop of rain became a steady rain. I got to 3 miles when the rain really started to come down. My phone with my Runtastic app and music had to stay in my pocket to try and keep as much water off of it as I could. I tried to walk as fast as I could, but I could not out walk the rain. It just kept coming down harder and harder. I could barely see 10 feet in front of me. The lightning and thunder kept lighting up the sky and scaring the heck out of me. I kept asking God to lighten up on the rain. He kept it going harder and harder. Like the 5 mile walk was not hard enough, He had to give me buckets of rain and rivers of rushing water every time I crossed a road? He did and then some! There was not a part of my body that was dry. My shoes had water inside them. Muddy water ran through my shoes and socks. The dirty water from the street flowed on me as I crossed streets. I got to 4 miles…one more to go and my whole body felt everything. Felt the rain. Felt the pain in my legs. Felt the exhaustion. But I had to keep going. I was not stopping for anything.

I finally got to the entrance of my work’s campus. The rain finally slowed down. With every step on campus the sun started coming out. I heard the water slosh in my shoes. I kept walking and walking. Exhausted, knees aching, and soaked I took my final steps and crossed that 5 mile barrier. I stomped on the ground hard as I crossed the 5 mile line that was there only in my head. I wanted to lift my arms up in celebration, but was too wet and cold. I took off my rain and sweat soaked hat and looked to the sky. I thanked God for giving me the determination to finish. 5 miles!

I just completed my 100th walk, walked for 5 miles and walked more than 200 miles. I was the fat guy and the guy that could not get dressed without getting exhausted. I was the guy that could not fit in to seats or in to my own clothes, or do anything active. I WAS THAT GUY! I am not him anymore. I am the guy that walks 5Ks and can walk 5 miles any time he wants. I am the guy that has now walked a 100 times and over 200 miles now. Since starting this walking journey a year ago, I have left the cocoon of fat and frustration and hatred for myself and have come out of it stronger and healthier and happier than I have ever been. That is the man I am now. I am that guy now!

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #49

Issue #49: What Kind of Day Has It Been

One year ago from today I began a journey and what a journey it has been! A year ago I woke up early and went walking 1.6 miles in order to get tired before having a sleep study done. I never realized what just one walk would have done to me and friends invested in me in the past year. It still gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. I decided on this one year anniversary that I would look back on the past year (especially my first blog entry posted on 10/22/2013) and see everything that has changed. Come on and walk back with me.

On October 22, 2013 I announced to the world that I was a single male and 455 pounds. Plain Vanilla (Francesca) posted this awful picture of me with my sweet nephews. If you go back and look at that picture you will see a man who truly disliked just about everything about himself. I was round, I was sad and I was hurting physically and emotionally.  I kept my hurt to myself mostly trying to be the happy fat guy. Only those closest to me knew of my hurt. I knew that when I started this journey that if I was going to try to heal that I had to be open and honest. I made a promise to Francesca that I was going to not hold anything back. With the exception of only a few subjects, I truly believe that I have kept that promise to her. I have talked about my depression, my food addiction, my size, my loneliness, my walking, my surgery, and all the struggles in between. This blog and this journey have truly changed my life and I believe for the better.

So let’s tackle the weight topic real quick. On 10/22/2013 I was 455 pounds. As of 10/15/2014 I am now 322 pounds. Wow…a 133 pound drop in a year (my BMI has dropped from 69 to 49)! Now I will agree that the bariatric surgery that I had in May 2014 did have a lot to do with it. But after seeing my doctor (the awesome Dr. Rao) my weight loss has still been dramatic. In her words no one has lost more that she has seen in such a short amount of time. Now, I truly believe the reason why my weight loss has been so quick was not because of the surgery but because of the work that I have been putting in. I usually walk long distances 2 to 3 times a week. I work out and attend fitness classes at least once or twice a week. I keep my calories as close to 1,200 calories a day. I very rarely eat sweets. I still depend on carbs too much and I will have to face that monster soon enough. But 80 percent of what I do is healthy and focused on me achieving my goals of living a healthy life. I have gone down from a 6X shirt to a 3X shirt. I am still in my old 4X pants, but I wear them where they are supposed to be now at the belly button instead of at the gut. I do not hurt getting out of bed anymore. I do not get exhausted getting dressed any longer. I can tie my shoes now standing up instead of having to sit down. My stomach no longer touches my steering wheel in my car. It is just the best time of my life now. And every day gets better and better.

Let’s talk about a year of walking! I missed 2 months of walking because of the surgery. May and June were walkless, but I still have gotten in 95 walks and walked 184.5 miles. I have gone through 2 pairs of walking shoes (I actually own 2 pairs of excellent walking shoes to make sure I have the support I need). My last walk that I did I walked 4.24 miles in one walk, my longest one to date. The last 5K that I did, I did not struggle walking the whole thing. I even passed people on the course! I was not the last person to cross the line. I beat several people across that line and I had room to spare!

I addressed being single a lot in the blog. It was such a struggle for me for the longest time. I felt like I did not deserve the love of a woman because of my size. It was all about my attitude and feeling good and loving myself, which I did not. I worked on that a lot the past year with my counselor: learning to love myself and knowing I am good enough. Well I finally listened! As I continued to heal and take care of myself a funny thing happened. I met an amazing woman. I have been dating her for 4 months now. I am so blessed to have her in my life and I know I am a blessing in her life too. But as grateful as I am for this relationship with her, I am more excited about the relationship with me! I like taking care of myself now. I like doing things that are good for me. I love me and I am not afraid to say it! I said on my birthday blog that my 40th year will be my best one yet. Well 7 months in and it has been my best year yet!

I am also so grateful for all the support that you all have given me over the last year. All the “likes” on Facebook. ALL the wonderful comments everyone has taken the time to write. I cherish every word you write to me. It gives me encouragement and strength. You all are a blessing to me as well. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Finally, I said in that first blog that I have been a quitter my whole life. Well it is a year later and I have not quit yet. I have not stopped. I have had bumps, but I keep charging ahead. I fight for every step I take and every pound I lose. I am still fighting my food addiction, but I am realizing that food no longer rules my life. Food is not my reason to be here. It is not my source of comfort. Food is a way to nourish myself so that I can live my life to the fullest. So I can go to concerts, ride roller coasters, take my girl out on a date, and sit comfortable in a pew at church and concentrate on my time with God and not my size.  I am not a quitter anymore. I am a fighter and I will not be stopped until the job is completed.

And I am just getting started…wait till you see what I do in year 2.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #48: Everyone Needs a Helping Hand

I had a friend of mine message me the other day about being an accountability partner with them and if I could share some tips with them on what was working for me losing weight. I was honored to be asked and wrote them back with some things that helped me out. After reading over the message again, I thought that some of the ideas may help out some of you reading this blog. Here is what I wrote them:

• Start immediately! Tomorrow never comes. I use to tell myself "I will start on Monday" well Monday never came. I never started then. What happened with me is one day I just started to walk. That looks like it might be the same for you.

• You have a significant other. Talk with them about helping you out. Go on walks together. Tell them not to take no for an answer...to drag you out there. And do not start big...that is where most people fail. They try to start exercising by walking 5 miles. That is just asking for failure. Start with around the block or a half mile. If you feel like going more, go for it...but start small and build up. (If you do not have a significant other, then ask someone to partner with you. Working out with a buddy is much more fun than by yourself)

• You said you are exhausted after work. What about before work? There are times I get up even 15 minutes early and just walk for those 15 minutes before starting the day. 15 minutes is better than nothing and is better than sitting on the couch or lying in bed.

• Find things that are fun for you to do and do them. If it is swimming or bike riding...or even shopping…just do it. I walk around the mall all the time when it is too hot or if it is raining. If you want to meet on a Saturday at one of the malls and do laps...let me know. They are a huge help.

• Finally, if you miss a day DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF! It is OK to miss a day. But set yourself up for success. Put your walking shoes or gym bag by the door ready to go. Put a sign on the fridge that asks you: Are you hungry? How hungry are you? What are you hungry for? Little things that you do to change behavior will lead to big things that change behavior.

• You can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are just in a rut right now. Everyone gets in them. Just ask people to help you get out of the rut.

Let me stress a few points here. First, on the do not start big, please know how true this is. It is asking your body to go zero to sixty without anytime to prep. Make a commitment that is realistic. Start with once or twice a week with a realistic amount. Think about it this way, even if you do once a week, that is still once a week more than where you were. And start with a realistic exercise. Commit to that realistic one and if you can do more, then great! We set ourselves up for failure so much just by aiming too big and then giving up because it is too much.
Do not be hard on yourself is the number one advise I need to give everyone. No one tears us down like we tear ourselves down. If you miss that one day you do not exercise, it does you no good to beat yourself up. You have to just figure out a new way to get yourself going. Try different ways to get yourself to the gym or to walk or to where ever you want to exercise or move. I pack my gym bag and place it by the front door every night that will be exercising the next day. I put up signs around my house to encourage me to get out there and move. Try several things that might help you out. Once you find the one thing that helps out, then do it and stick with it.

Being too tired after work makes perfect sense. We all work hard whether it is in an office building or being the CEO of a family keeping everything running smoothly. When you get married and/or have kids (I can only imagine) it gets harder and harder. But you need to take that 15 minutes (or more) for yourself. It is vital for you to figure out a way to take care of yourself, especially if you have a family. Work with your family on you finding a time for you and stick with it. You are very important and you should treat yourself as important.

These are just a few of my thoughts. There are thousands more. Find what works best for you and try stuff out. There is no right way or wrong way. There is the way that works for you. Just start moving and your body will thank you!

Sincerely, Chris

The Theindia's Journey #3: A well balanced plate.

A well balanced plate

We have all heard the expression, 'are you happy?' And this expression comes with 2 simple answers...if the answer is yes, keep doing what you are doing! But if the answer is no, revaluate what you are doing and make a change. This is where I was a few weeks ago.

See, you never realize how much is on your plate until you go thru a full day of all of your duties. As you all know, I am a mother of 2 grade school children, a full time employee, and a 3/4 college student (meaning I take 3 classes, so not quite a full time student but close enough). Well, to add to my already full plate I have added baseball mom for both boys! Yes, baseball season has started yet again. But I am trying not to stress. Well, I just told a small lie, a few weeks ago I did stress! How in the world am I going to go to work, go to class, take the kids to baseball, study, and workout?!?! There are only 24 hours in a day and per the mind law, you have to sleep at least 8 of those (lol). Yes, this sounds like a lot and it is. Which brings me to my question...are you happy? Well, at that point the answer was NO. It was a little more verbal than no, but I would rather not repeat those words. So what did I do? I sat down and reevaluated what wasn't making me happy. And the answer was I was stressed. My first priority was to not revert back to the old Theindia. In my mind I had already set out to see what can I remove from this list and you know what the first choice that came to my mind...that's right, my health/fitness goals. The old bad part of me had already written off my fitness goals as a loss. But my new frame of mind said no not this time. It is weird it was like my mind had already told my body and I began to feels self get lazy. Oh no, not this time I said to myself. So I wrote a list and started to prioritize my days. I wrote down the top items that needed to be done on specific days and then I wrote down what could be rearranged to fit. And what do you know...I have this plate of mine balanced.

What does this have to do with my fitness goals you may ask...the answer is a lot. See the old me would have cancelled my gym membership, hung up my running shoes, and pulled out the ice cream. But not the new me. I did have to cut back at the gym, but I did not give it up. I now walk/run while my boys are at baseball practice, as well as on the weekends if I can't hit the gym I take the boys and we practice baseball or go for a walk. I have kept up with my health eating and stayed a long long way from junk food. I refuse to go back to old habits. I made that commitment to myself this year and I am sticking to that goal.

I'm not able to report double digit weight loss numbers, but I will take my 4 pound loss as a gain. Slow and steady is the way to win the race. So I ask myself today, "am I happy?", and guess what, that answer is YES!!

Chris's Journey #47: The Journey Continues

Issue #47: The Journey Continues…

I walked my 91st walk last Friday, walking 3.5 miles in a little over an hour. Almost a year in this journey to get healthy and blogging about it and I am finally starting to enjoy this walking thing. If I have not walked in a while, I can feel it. Not walking makes me feel sluggish and like something is missing in my life. Walking has become cathartic to me. It allows me to have time to myself to think things out or to just breathe or spend time in prayer and reflection. For the 20 minutes to an hour that I am out it is all about me, and that is nice to have.

Here is the breakdown of 91 walks from October 17, 2013 to September 19, 2014 (11 months):

·         172.3 miles walked
·         64 Hours 55 Minutes walked
·         Over 45,000 calories burned
·         Over 113 pounds lost

So 9 more walks until my 100th walk.

I have less than 30 miles till 200 miles.

One month to go before I hit a year of walking and beginning this journey.

47 blog posts written with 45 of them being on time.

I have a met an amazing woman whom I call my girlfriend now. I finally had the confidence to ask a woman out and she said yes. We celebrated 3 months of dating last week. This is my longest relationship ever. Because I have learned to like and love myself, I am now able to love someone else. Yes, you heard me right. I love her, she loves me. The areas of my life are this good because I started this journey 11 months ago.  Who would have thought that a walk with its sole goal of getting tired for a sleep study would become an inferno in my life changing everything? I would not have thought it for one minute. But it has happened and continues to happen every day I am on this journey.

For those of you who are frustrated with the way your journey is going, the only thing I can tell you is that it starts with one step forward. Even if there is a time that you go five steps back, you have to keep walking forward. Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” This is so true. All of us are all so close to success, but because of our frustrations we lose sight and stop. Are you up to taking one step forward? The minute you step forward once, you are on the road to getting to where you want to be. You may step back a bit, but as long as you keep focused on the journey in front of you and not behind you, you will succeed. Success will not be over night, but it will be there ready for you to take it.

I have plenty of people and dear friends say that I inspire them. I am grateful for such wonderful words. Inspire yourself to just take a step forward. For me the journey continues and will continue for the rest of my life. What about your journey? Has it started or do you need to start it? Inspires yourselves! You never know where just one step will take you.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #46: Under Construction

At the beginning of the year, I got in my car to drive to work. It was a normal week day morning. As I made a right turn, I noticed that the steering wheel was a little harder to turn than usual. Then I made a left and felt the same thing. I pulled over at a gas station and struggled to look under the car at why it was hard to turn. I did not see anything. I shrugged it off and got back in the car. I started the car again and began to drive. I got to a turn and once again it was a struggle to turn. I happened to look down at the steering wheel this time and saw that the steering wheel was dragging on my stomach. I was wearing a jacket because it was cool outside and saw that it was me that was making it harder to steer. My stomach was now getting in the way of me driving. To say this was depressing was an understatement. But it was my old normal.

My body is going through some serious changes right now. I am exercising harder than I ever have. I am eating less food than I ever have. My back is giving me a lot of issues. My body is adjusting to the fact that I have less fat on it, and my back is recalculating the weight that it supports. My skin burns in certain places around my body (especially around the stomach). This is from my skin not expanding as much as it was. Losing the weight is a great thing, but losing it at the pace that I am does have side effects. My back and skin are just some of them.

Let’s talk about some of the good side effects. I am now in 4X shirts and they are even getting loose on me. It is easier for me to shop for clothes now. Clothes shopping can actually be fun. That thought scares me, but it is becoming true. I can walk faster and hurt less. As you read in last week’s blog I walked my fastest mile and 5K in the same day. Plus I had plenty of energy to go to my uncle’s house for a little Labor Day fun. It is easier for me to get out of bed. I LOVE this. I do not hurt when I get up in the morning. I do not hurt or get out of breath when I put clothes on. When I sit, I can put my foot on my leg now! That is so awesome. I literally yipped out loud when my foot stayed on my leg. I almost have a lap now. I cannot wait for the day my Godson or nephews or even my girlfriend can sit in my lap. That will be a good day.

But wait there is more! I can sit comfortably in the pew at church now. I use to have to prop my stomach on the top of the pew in front of me or sit in the front row (it does not have another pew in front) so that I would not hurt. Now I can sing, move, and praise in my pew. That is a great feeling. I can even walk in a crowd and feel like everyone is not trying to get around me. I am smaller and I can move with traffic. I am even able to clean house without any pain at all. I can just clean and clean and not get out of breath. I am still working to be on my knees, but that will take time.

Finally, my stomach no longer touches the steering wheel. Look at the picture above. I have plenty of room there now. I remember the first time I saw that it did not touch. It was about a month after the surgery and I could get a finger in between the steering wheel and my body. I was so excited I was shaking. I quickly took a picture of it and send it to my friends. And now 4 months later, I can put 4 fingers in between me and my steering wheel. It was seeing that my stomach did not touch that showed me that I was doing this. I am losing the weight. I am taking it seriously. I will be keeping it off.

In the four months since the surgery, I have lost 22 inches total around my body. I am in the best shape I have been in 10 or more years. I am active, I am comfortable and I am learning to like me more. It is going to take some time to learn how to love me to the fullest, but I am getting there. But for right now, my stomach does not touch the steering wheel, and that is an amazing thing.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #45: No compromises

On Labor Day I got up really early on a day off and made the trek to Baymeadows Blvd to participate in the Run Jax Labor Day 5K. This would be my first 5K (official) since my surgery. I was super excited to participate in the run. I had been feeling healthy and stronger and I was eager to see how I would do on this early morning. Here are some of the thoughts that I had on what would be my 7th official 5K.

• Before the race began, I met a nice man by the name of Joe. He was super friendly and introduced himself to me as we sat and waited for the race to begin. He was an older gentleman, but had great strength in his voice. He said that he was proud of me for being my size and being out there. I thanked him and kept sitting there. He then told me he was 90 years old. 90 years old? Are you kidding me? I was instantly humbled. He was excited to walk and happy to just enjoying his life. It was a real pleasure to meet him.

• The one problem with being the last person to finish the race was the police car that ends up following you while you walk. To ensure that no one hits any of the runners / walkers there are a lot of police officers available to make sure that no cars get through. When you are the last walker out there, the last police car follows slowly RIGHT behind you. I hated that car following me around, even though I understand the need for it being there. I cannot wait until I walk so fast that I am not the last person on the race track.

• This may seem trivial (warfare) but I love races that give out medals to all that finish. Sadly, not all races or 5Ks do. I got spoiled with my first 5K giving out a medal. Sadly it was not until this latest race that I got my second medal. It is proudly hanging up next to my first medal. I love having something that shows I accomplished something I never would have done a year ago.

• I still love getting my number and pinning it to my shirt. That race numbers means more to me than anything else. This past year I became an athlete. Those numbers that hang on my wall prove it. I cherish each of them.

• I did this last 5K faster than anyone that I did before. I pushed myself and finished the race with less than an 18 minute mile average! I felt amazing looking at the stats. It is one of the few times that I was proud of myself. After the race was over, my feet and knees were killing me. I pushed myself so hard that my body ached. I do not care. I did the 5K in less than an hour. When I was almost done with my first mile of the 5K on Monday, my feet hurt and I had a crisis of faith and really wanted to stop. Then the phrase “No Compromise” came in to my head. As soon as I accepted that slogan, there was no way I was quitting. Just like this weight plan I am on, there are no compromises. Just live life to the fullest and do the most I can do with the time that I have. No Compromise!

If you are able to complete a 5K, think about running a race. I cannot tell you what it has done to my self-esteem. I feel better and stronger for the number of miles I have walked. The support you get from complete strangers is amazing. It is something I will always be grateful for. I am excited for my next 5K and excited that this will be a regular event for me in the years to come.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris Journey #44: I am a Ferrari! Or a Mercedes!

“Do you not know that your body is a tempe of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” 1 Corinthians 6:19

“Honor God with your body” 1 Corinthians 6:20

“You treat your body like a temple. I treat mine like a tent.” – Jimmy Buffet, Fruitcakes

During service last Sunday, my pastor Jason Cullum gave an amazing sermon on why it is important for us to take care of our one body. Our bodies, our lives are the one of first gift God gives to us. Jason gave very good points on how we feel compelled to speak to someone if they are drinking too much, or even if we know someone is cheating on their spouses. However if we see someone constantly eating too much, we will not say anything to them. Now Jason was not meaning to pick on people who are overweight or obese, but he was saying that it is our responsibility to our brothers and sisters to discuss with them concerns when we are hurting our bodies.

Jason continued to give an excellent example on the differences between owning a Ferrari and owning a 1980 Mazda 626 (his first car). If we owned the Ferrari, we would do everything in our powers to take care of it. We would put a tarp on it, house it in a garage, and make sure that it was clean and tuned up and ready to perform. What about his Mazda 626? Well it had garbage in it, it was always dirty, and if a ding got on it, no big deal. So if God gave us a Ferrari body (well I was thing Porsche or Mercedes) then why are we treating our bodies like that 1980 Mazda 626? That point really hit home for me.

I put both verses that Jason used in the sermon at the beginning of the blog. I also put Jimmy Buffett’s verse from his song Fruitcakes. I put that verse up top because for the majority of my life I did treat my body as a tent. I did not care how I felt, how I looked, or how I was as long as I got the food inside me. I wish I could say that I did it because I loved the taste of food. That I ate nothing but the best foods. But it was neither! I did not like the taste of food. I did not eat the best foods. I ate mostly fast foods all day, every day. I ate all that I could so that I could feel full. So that I could be stuffed. That was the sensation I wanted. I wanted to be stuffed, all the time.

Because I decided not to treat my body like a temple, I sacrificed so much. I sacrificed God’s plan for me for the longest time. I sacrificed not working with teenagers (a passion of mine) for almost 10 years. I sacrificed energy to play with my nephews and Godsons. I sacrificed meaningful dating relationships. I sacrificed my self- esteem. All because I did not care about myself enough to treat myself as the Mercedes that God created me to be.

“Guilt just does not work” was the statement Jason finished the sermon with. Thankfully my friend Amanda loaned me her pen so I could write that quote down. “Guilt just does not work”. I could lament and feel guilty that I did not take care of myself for the longest time. I could heap guilt and more guilt on my conscious. But why? Why should I continue to hurt myself for my past mistakes? Haven’t I spent long enough hurting myself? I know I have. It is time to move on.

I feel like I dwell on my past way too much. Most of the time I believe that I have to keep paying the price for close to 40 years of mistakes. Why is that? Why do I feel the need to treat myself like that 1980 Mazda 626 and not like the Mercedes that God created me to be? God has a better opinion of me that I have of me. God loves me for who I am. Can’t I do just the same? Can’t I love me for me as I am now? The past is the past and it cannot be changed no matter how hard I try. And it is time to stop trying and just live my life. It is time to just be me. And that part is exciting.

My life is an unknown path now. I do not know where it will go from here on out. But I do know that I will not be the morbidly obese man I was a year ago, two years ago, or even ten years ago. I will be healthier, I will be stronger, I will be better. My body is no longer a tent or a 1980 Mazda 626. My body is under construction. My body will be a temple, a Mercedes soon enough. It will just take time and sweat to make it happen. I am super excited to see what I will be in a year from now, two years from now, and even ten years from now. No more guilt. Not more looking in the past.

I am a Ferrari. I am a Mercedes. I am worth it. Let’s see what is next. I cannot wait!

Sincerely, Chris

chris's Journey #43: Robin Williams

Like the rest of the world, I was shocked to hear about the passing away of Robin Williams last week. It was amazing the amount of sadness I had for someone that I had never met. Then the news that came out later that he killed himself due to several things going on in his life including depression. Hearing that depression was a part of, if not most of the reason for him taking his own life really hit home for me. It again shook me to my core for a personal reason.

Like millions and millions of people around the planet, I too suffer from depression. Up until the surgery I took anti-depression meds. I only got off them because with the surgery my stomach was no longer able to absorb the meds I was taking. Right now I am currently being monitored by my counselor to see if I need to go back on anti-depression medication. The determination has not been made yet, but I am super glad I have my counselor in my life that will help me take care of me better.

I bring all of this up for two reasons. First, is to tell you my story. When I was in junior high school I had thoughts of suicide on a regular basis. I was not the most popular kid in school. I was picked on about my weight on a regular basis and really just hated my life. Because of all that, I felt lonely and in pain for almost all of my junior high school days. Thankfully I never gave in to the sadness and confusion that I had. I never was able to create a plan. Also thankfully that my Mother did not believe in guns or anything. I did not have a viable option to hurt or kill myself. God was working in me even back then. Thankfully junior high became high school and there I met friends that genuinely loved and cared for me. Loneliness continues to come back in my life on a regular basis still, but the thoughts of ending my life have not. My life is not perfect, but it is my life and deserves to be lived out.

My depression now materializes in wanting to be by myself and feel unloved. During my dark periods now, I do feel unloved (even though I know that is not true) and making myself feel as alone as possible. I even have a sad song mix on my iPod so that I can use that music to get even more and more depressed. Usually it takes me hiding these feelings from my family and closest friends. It is amazing, but I rarely reach out for help. I wish I knew why. I usually keep the hurt and pain inside until one day something happens where I feel better or am distracted enough to get away from the feelings. I need to work on being stronger to reach out to people for help. The easy way out is to keep the feelings inside. The harder and healthier path is to reach out and tell someone and have them help you out. That is something I need to work on.

The second reason I tell you of my battle of depression is to let anyone who does suffer with depression know that you are not alone! There are plenty more of us out there that suffer from this disease. And it is a disease. It is in the medical disease diagnosis book known as ICD-9 (and ICD-10). Diagnosis code 311 in ICD-9 and F33 in ICD-10 (according to Google). You are not considered broken if you suffer from depression. You are not messed up if you get help with counseling and medications. You are normal and you are being healthy if you ask for help. Help is the smart thing to ask for. Ignoring it or trying to hide it is the opposite thing to do. It is hurtful and it is the painful approach. You will end up hurting yourself more and hurting your family and friends more by not asking for help. I beg you that if you are depressed and it is not going away, then to please, please, please ask for help. Talk to someone. Consider like I do and see a professional. Consider medications if that is something that a doctor recommends. Again, you are not broken! You are normal. And I am right there with you.

I hate that Robin Williams thought that the only way out he had was suicide. He was so loved by his family, friends, and (like me) fans around the world. But I can relate to his thoughts of pain and loneliness. I can relate to him feeling like his life was out of control. Thankfully, I did not take his path. Thankfully, I did not feel that out of control. Please do not feel that alone to take his path. Take your own healthier path and take care of yourself.

You are not alone.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #42 : Status Update

You always have to sit back and be grateful for the steps you have already taken in any journey. I am happy to say that I will never have to begin this journey again. I will always be in the middle of this journey, but I am amazed at the progress that has been made already. Imagine the progress that I will make when 2014 is over with this year. I now look in to the future and see hope and excitement and not the dread I once did. I am excited to see where the next three months of my journey will take me.

Here are some of the things I have accomplished so far…

·         As of 8/4/2014 I have lost 93 pounds and 15.5 inches since January 16, 2014.

·         I have decreased my walking a mile from 24 minutes when I started in October 2013 to 18 minutes last week.

·         I have gone down from a size 6 XLT shirt to a 4 XL shirt.

·         I am able to wear my pants the way pants are supposed to be worn (around the belly button).

·         I no longer get exhausted walking up a flight or two of stairs.

·         I no longer get tired getting dressed.

·         A few Saturdays ago I almost walked 3 miles and I swam for 35 minutes on the same day…without getting tired.

·         I had my three month checkup last week and all my bloodwork came back in good shape. Dr. Rao was very happy with my progress.

·         I have not drank a soda in over 3 months.

·         I attend fitness classes on a regular basis now.

·         I can fit in the seats at Everbank Field and at the Jacksonville Baseball Park. I am planning on seeing a Gator game by the end of the year.

·         My doctor has taken me off two out of three medications.

·         I am happy and feeling less stress.

·         I am completely grateful that I had the surgery now.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #41: Albatross

As we get deeper in to this journey of mine, I begin to doubt myself and if I can finish it. I have a daily doubt that stays in my head that I will not be able to finish, and I am ultimately a failure. I keep waiting for the first hiccup and how I will actually handle it. You know that first week that I gain weight and that week ultimately then becomes a second or a third. I am afraid that I will not be able to take it and I will fully revert back to the pre-surgery Chris. And this journey that we have taken together will have been for naught and I will go back to my unhealthy self. I feel I will ultimately destroy myself and all the hard work that I have done. That doubt is a nagging albatross hanging around my neck and I am unable to get rid of it.

I had lunch with a friend of mine last week and ordered fries with my lunch. Now I did not eat many of the fries, but my friend (as good friends do) called me on it. He was questioning my decision as to why I decided to order fries with my lunch and not another choice. Especially since I had just talked about my food issues last week in the blog and my friend wondered why I choose such an unhealthy option. I told him that I was not eating much of them and not to worry about it. But it stuck in my head. Why did I choose that? There were many more options that I could have chosen. I did not eat much of the fries, but it was still not the best choice and I did still eat them. What happens to me when I am all the way healed and my stomach can and will grow again? I fear I am still the same man I was, but with a very expensive way of preventing me to eat a lot. When it comes to food, even though I know I am doing leaps and bounds better than I did a year ago, there is still a lot of doubt. The doubt continues to still be here, no matter how badly I want it to leave.

My lack of confidence is not just with my food, it is also with my workout regimen. Francesca will tell or show me an exercise that I have never done and I begin to doubt almost immediately. Can I do that? Am I healthy enough to do that? Is it smart for a man my size to do something so difficult? What if I embarrass myself in front of her and the others in the gym? The thing is my doctor has given me full clearance to workout. My cardiologist has told me that I can do anything I am able to. They have looked me in the face and told me I am healthy enough to work hard. My confidence is just not there. Doubt is there.

I will say that some of the doubt does go away, once I am able to accomplish something. Once I do the activity, I then am able to show myself that I was not too heavy, or too big, I was able to do it. But trying to get over that fear to try something new is very difficult. The old Marine quote is “pain is fear leaving the body”. My statement right after that is, “well, I must have a lot of fear”. And I do have a lot of fear! I fear pain just as much as anything else. Pain after a long walk, or a hard workout, or if I step wrong, Pain to me is scary and that fear of pain helps me lose confidence in myself.

Will I continue to make the same bad decisions and hurt myself? Will I go back to 450 pound Chris? Will I gain all this weight back again? Am I fraud? Will I not be the inspiration that everyone says I am? My confidence in myself seems to continue to stay low as I keep getting further with this. I was hoping it would go away, but it has not. That is the doubt that hurts the most, and that is the doubt that is the scariest to me. The doubt that I will let all of you that call me “inspiration” or “inspiring” down is the worst. Not because I am letting you down, but because I am more concerned about LETTING you all down THAN letting me down. The one thing I work hard on every day is that I need to come first in this process and everything else has to come second. I have my good days and my bad days, but I cannot focus on letting others down, because that loses focus on the most important thing on this journey. Me.

I do not have an answer for this topic. I do not have a hint or a tip to help you tackle doubt and a lack of self-confidence. I really wish I did, that way I would have it too. All I can say is that I fight every day on it, and I have my good days and my bad days. I hope that as I get farther in this journey it will get easier. It has not yet, but maybe it will. One day. And that one day might just be my best day.

Sincerely, Chris

Theindia's Journey #2: Adjustment Isn't So Bad

This past month I have learned all about adjustment. Some good adjustment and some not so good adjustments...but adjustments just the same.

Life is all about adjustments. In the past I would make adjustments but not in the correct way. I was one of those who adjusted in negative ways. When I was sad or angry, I wouldn't try to fix what made me that way, I would just eat. This of course is not good. So this past month when I realized that I had some changes happen in my life and I needed to adjust and not just deal...I refused to fall back in my old habits.

This past month has also been a struggle for me physical wise. A few months back I was diagnosed with 'Sarcoidosis' and have been trying to adjust to my symptoms. One symptom is inflammation, which affects me in my left eye. Some days it causes me to have a terrible headache or blurry vision and other days I just have general pain. But I know I have to be tough and adjust myself accordingly. So instead of just sitting back and using this as an excuse and to fall back into my old habits, I adjusted to change and in this case my body's change. I kept up eating right, I tried light exercising, and of course I stayed positive. I tell you this, there is nothing more welcoming then that of supporting friends and family.

Since I have told myself that I refuse to fall back into old habits...I have kept pressing forward. In the past week or so I have really started to feel like my old self again. I have started back running, lifting weights, and even my favorite...CYCLING. I have even made a decision to start boxing (yep, I'm crazy I know). I refusing to be what my diagnosis says I'm to be (which is a person always tired and in pain).

This month has really taught me to listen to my body. When I need rest, I need to rest, but at the same time I going to keep pushing forward. This month I happy to report that despite me not working out at much as I was, I have lost 6 lbs! That may not seem like a lot to some but that is happy dance worthy to me! I hope to report next month more great news...but in the mean time, I will keep adjusting and moving forward!

Chris's Journey #40: Eating to Live and not Living to Eat

 I am almost three months out from the surgery and most of the healing has been completed. I am now in the middle of what I call the “New Normal”. I now no longer eat 2,500 to 3,000 calories a day. I eat between 800 to 1,000 calories. I promise all of you, that I am not trying to starve myself. I genuinely cannot eat any more than 1,000 calories a day. I feel pain throughout my body if I try to eat more. I work to eat a high protein, low carb diet just as my doctor told me to. It is difficult to do that sometimes due to carbs are easier for me to consume than protein is. But I fight hard to make sure I balance my food intact as best as I can. Here is the issue I fight every day. I still want to eat the same food and the same amounts that I did before the surgery. I do. I want to go to McDonald’s and order two double cheeseburgers and a large fry and cover it all in ketchup and eat it in less than 10 minutes. The only thing that stops me is knowing I cannot eat it all. Knowing that if I try to eat even a portion of that size, I will get sick…and I mean bad sick! So, I choose the route of not eating out and instead I eat in by eating pre-packaged foods that are single servings. I would like to fix healthy meals (or even just meals) for myself, but I cannot eat leftovers. Anytime I try to eat leftovers, I feel sick to my stomach or it just does not taste good. So I eat “fresh” food (fresh meaning just prepared food) and only that for each meal. Before the surgery, I ate 3 meals (sometimes just 2) each day and that was it. I very rarely ate snacks or “grazed”. I ate 2 to 3 very large meals every day and filled myself to the limit from those meals. 1000 to 1500 calorie meals were not uncommon. Today however, I graze. I eat 6 to 7 times a day, eating between 50 to 200 calories for each meal. By grazing I am able to eat just enough to last a few hours without hurting. By grazing I can feel comfortable and not hungry. Very rarely am I stuffed or full. I am almost always satisfied and not hurting. It is nice not to hurt after a meal. It is also nice not to feel exhausted after eating and wanting a nap. I prefer the grazing to my old method. I hope this habit stays with me the rest of my life. I do live with some fear about eating. I fear about falling back in to old habits and eating only large meals. Food is my drug. One of my best friends sent me a meme that says the following: “Food is the most abused anxiety drug. Exercise is the most underutilized antidepressant”. It was this statement that caused me to write this blog post. It hits home for me in so many different ways. I will address the food part of that statement. From the beginning of writing this blog (40 issues ago) I said I was a food addict. I still agree with that statement. I do not believe there will ever be a time that I am not an addict. This will be a fight that I fight for the rest of my life. I will always need to make the choice of eating healthy or eating something that could possibly make me fall back in to my old habits. I have told a lot of people that ask about food habits to not deny yourself of a type of food. Any time you deny yourself of eating something specific, it makes you want to eat it more. Go ahead and try it. Tell yourself you will not eat ice cream for a month and see what happens. You will be craving it non-stop, I promise. But for me, I have to be conscious of the fact that like an alcoholic or drug addict if I eat something (like fast food) even one time, that I probably will fall back to my old habit and eat all the crap that got me to be 481 pounds in 2011. That one time might destroy everything I have been fighting for the past three months. I live with some of that fear every day. The fear does not control me, but it is there. I hate that it is there, but it is there. Thank goodness I have a counselor whose focus is on addiction counseling. Thank goodness I have a support system that is amazing and loving. Thank goodness I have this blog where I have to stay honest with all of you and more importantly with myself. Thank goodness I am learning that exercise does make me feel better and I have a supportive friend teaching me how to work out smarter. Learning how to eat to live and not live to eat is the hardest battle I have had yet. It will be a battle I fight every day till my last day on this Earth. But it is a battle I want to fight. I continue to fight to take back my life. I continue to fight to take away the power that food has over me. I want to be a recovering addict. It has to happen for me to be healthy and to fulfill the amazing goals I want in my life. So every time morning comes, it is time to fight again. And because it is time to fight again, it is time to strap on my food armor because it’s another day and another battle is about to begin for me. And it is a battle I NEED to win!

Sincerely, Chris

5 day ab challenge: Day 1

5 day ab challenge!! Day 1, I challenge you to do 3 sets of fifteen of the exercises listed below. Check out Carol doing these three awesome abs

Beg 3 sets of 15
Int 3 sets of 15, 2 rounds
Adv 3 sets of 15, 3 rounds

Flutter kicks :Move your legs up and down, in small, rapid and scissor-like motions. Use your arms to stabilize you, but keep your back flat against the floor.

Vertical toe touches: Contract your abs to pull your head and shoulders off the floor. As you do so, run your hands up your thighs towards your ankles.

Alternating curls:
Lie on the ground, with your shoulders raised slightly so that your upper abdomen remains tense throughout the exercise. Position your feet slightly apart with respect to your pelvis. Raise your upper torso, rotating it slightly to one side, while simultaneously moving the opposite knee in the same direction. Try to keep your knee at the same angle as you move it towards your upper torso. 

Chris's Journey #39: Why My Mirror Lies to Me

Chris has lost 4.5lbs this week!!

This week Chris talks about  the mirror, and how it can be your enemy if you let it..

As I am writing this blog issue, I am 80 pounds lighter since January 16th. That is a huge amount. If you look at 80 pound dumbbells in the gym it will look very heavy, and that is because they are. It is the most that I have ever lost at one time. The admiration and love I receive from everyone for my achievements has been amazing. My clothes are looser and I am in the process of getting rid of clothes that are too big and getting clothes that fit better. I can walk faster and work out longer than I once did. The pounds are showing off of me in so many different ways except for one. My mirror.

Anytime I look in the mirror all I see is a skinner face, but the same old Chris. It is difficult for me to look in the mirror. But I do. I have to keep looking to hopefully one day see what everyone but me is seeing. I have a friend who is in the same position I am in. She has lost a lot of weight, but is still unable to see it. Like me, all she sees is fat, fat, and more fat on her. When she told me her story, it saddened me. I was really hoping it was only me that felt that way. It feels sickening and miserable. I hate that someone else goes through it. My conversation with her is what brought on the blog post. I hope she reads this and knows she is not alone.

As a heavy person you get so accustomed to being hard on yourself. I was always the first person to call myself fat. From the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed, I was always complaining to me about how fat I was or am. For as many youngsters pointed at me and said “look at the fat guy”, I said it to me myself so much more. As many people that ignored me because I was as fat as I was, I ignored me even more. So many people were so hard on me, but I was always hardest on myself.

That is one of the reasons I see a counselor once a week. I have always said that if you do not fix your head the rest of you will not be fixed and that is the truth. I can have a surgery over and over again. I can lose pound after pound. But if I do not figure out why I over eat and why I do not take care of myself, then I will gain every pound back. Those pounds do not discriminate and they will be back with plenty of their buddies. I do not want to see 400 pounds ever again. I do not want to see 300 pounds again. I want to be happy and healthy. The only way to get there is to continue to explore the abyss that is my head. The counseling is really helping. Every time I go, I learn a little bit more about myself. I understand a little more why I did this to myself. With every session I learn to love me a little more. The more I love me means the fewer pounds will come back to me to stay. As I learn to realize that the mirror I look at lies to me. Now the mirror only lies to me because I allow it to lie to me. I need to focus on healing and I need to focus on how I feel and not what a mirror or even a scale says to me.

If you are trying to get healthy, please remember that the scale and the mirror will lie to you. A scale and a mirror will not tell you how loved you are. It will not tell you your value. The scale and mirror will not tell you how you feel and how healthy you are. That is for you and you alone to decide.

Use your scale and mirror carefully, and do not let them hurt you. They have no feelings, why should you have feelings for them?

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey: #38 Miracles Can Happen OR How my Gastric Sleeve Surgery Saved My Life Twice

This week Chris talks about a scare he had, and how the gastric sleeve save him. Check it out!

About two weeks before my bariatric surgery (gastric sleeve) I had a crisis of faith. I was beginning to wonder if this was the best decision for me. Did I really try dieting hard enough? Was I willing to do what it took once the surgery was done? I asked myself question after question trying to figure out whether I should doing this surgery. I was not really scared…but I did doubt myself that this was the best decision possible. Thankful I had several good friends that really took good care of me and helped me settle down and focus on what needed to get done. As all of you who have read my blog now know, the surgery went super well and over 70 pounds down I am on my way to a healthier way of life. Believe it or not there is one last chapter about the surgery that I need to share with everyone. Two weeks after the surgery I received a call from Dr. Rao’s office asking me to come in and see them again. I had my first post-surgery visit the week before, and was not supposed to go back for another two weeks. I asked if it was important and they said yes. I set the appointment for the afternoon of the next day. Going in to see Dr. Rao a day later, my head was flooded with all sorts of thoughts. Was I going to the principal’s office? Was I not losing weight fast enough? Was I eating something wrong and someone told on me? I went in to her office and immediately was sent back to see her. When Dr. Rao and her assistant came in, she was cracking jokes and made me smile. I appreciate Dr. Rao very much and am so grateful to her as my doctor. But as soon as she got settled she got a chair and sat real close to me. She looked me in the eyes and began to talk. After my stomach was removed it was sent over to pathology for testing and to be reviewed. During that testing, a small tumor known as a GIST (Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor) was found in my stomach. When she told me about the GIST, I just had to sit back. I was blown away. I was never expecting to receive that kind of information. I will say this; I was not scared or afraid. I just was blown away by hearing the news. Dr. Rao continued to talk. She told me that GIST tumors are very rare and she only knew of one other case. She said I was in good shape because the tumor was very small, 0.7 CM. She said that she was going to take very good care of me and send me to the best Gastro specialist and the best Oncologist she knew. Dr. Rao told me she was not concerned at all, but we had to take these precautions just to be on the safe side. She told me to call her anytime I had a question or a concern. She was there for me. She hugged me and I left her office. As I was driving home I called one of my best friend Lauren and told her. I was not sure at this time I was going to tell anyone. But Lauren and I had been through so much “stuff” together that she was the one person I knew I was definitely going to tell. I decided to not tell my family until after I got some answers. Right now I had more questions than answers and I did not want to put my family through the stress of this. Two of my uncles have had major cancer battles the past few years and both were and are wars. I did not want my family having more cancer stress. Plus as I said Dr. Rao was not worried. Waiting a few weeks to tell the family would not hurt. I did tell a few friends just to help me deal with the stress and allowed me to talk about it. Plus a prayer chain was started for me and I could feel those prayers in the coming weeks because I stayed calm throughout the whole process. I saw both the gastro specialist and the oncologist and they both said the same thing. The tumor was found early and they both felt like the surgery got the tumor out of me and that there was no more left. Testing would need to be done (CAT scan) and I would see the doctors after the CAT scan was over with. Again, prayers from so many kept me calm. God’s hand was on me throughout this process. So the day of the CAT scan I got a call from the facility I was getting the scan done and was told that I could not get the scan done at their facility and I had to go to Orange Park Hospital. I was confused and was asking why this was. I was told that I would be able to fit in the machine when I originally set my appointment. They told me that the bench into the CAT scan machine only held 400 pounds and I was too heavy. I told them to hold up! At that point in time I was 399 pounds and losing weight every day. I could fit on that bench! I defended myself for the first time in a while. I was not going to be told to go somewhere else when I did fit! I asked to talk to a supervisor and an agreement was made. I would have the procedure in 2 more weeks. I told them no problem and I would be even lighter then! I was 386 pounds when I had the CAT scan done. Boom! I fit in the CAT scan with room to spare and they were able to see everything that they needed to. A week later I went in to see the gastro specialist and to see what the results were of the scan. I sat in the office as the doctor came in and began to review my chart. He looked up and down for a while. I am not the most patient person, so after a little bit I asked him what the verdict was. He asked me a few questions about if I had any pain anywhere. I told him no. He told me that everything looked good. The scan showed no additional tumors and it looked like the surgery did get it all. In his words, I am cured. As I mentioned earlier I was not worried throughout the whole month I had to wait between the first time I was told of this tumor and then told I was healthy. God did not give me a spirit of fear He gave me strength. He gave me the strength to keep focusing on the weight and not the tumor. So even though I walked out happy, I did not feel like the weight of the world was off my shoulders and that is simply because the weight of the world was never on my shoulders to begin with. God had my back from the beginning all the way to the end. I am not sure I am a miracle or not. I do not feel like a miracle. I am not sure if this whole story constitutes a miracle like a few friends have said to me. I just know that God gave me a peace and serenity that I never would have had without Him. I am a nervous person by nature. I am a natural worrier about my friends, my family, or at times just about anything. But during a time that I should have been stressed and scared out of my mind and it would have been justified, I was calm, cool, and collected almost the whole time. I am a blessed man because that stress was taken away from me. All I can say to you is that peace was a great gift God gave to me. And it was a gift ONLY God could give to me. So the gastric sleeve surgery saved my life a first time by helping me begin to succeed at losing weight. Something I had never been able to do before. But looking back on all this, the surgery has now saved my life a second time. If that tumor had been allowed to grow like it could have without the surgery, I could potentially have been in bad shape. No one will know for sure how bad of shape I would have been in, but the doctor’s did say that a GIST tumor is very difficult to find by normal testing methods. As skeptical as I was two weeks before the surgery, I am so blessed and grateful I made the decision to have had it! Thank you Lord for my peace. Sincerely, Chris If you want to know more about GIST’s please go to this website: http://www.cancer.org/cancer/gastrointestinalstromaltumorgist/detailedguide/gastrointestinal-stromal-tumor-what-is-gist

My Top Fitness Questions Asked At the Gym

As a fitness coach I get asked a lot of fitness related questions. Here are my frequent ones. Please keep in mind, these answers are my opinions based on what I have learned about fitness.

1. If I am doing cardio and strength on the same day which one should I do first, and for how long?
 It all depends on your goals. If you are trying to increase your endurance or lose the weight, then do cardio first. If you are trying to improve or increase muscular strength do strength training first. Most of the time clients want both, so alternating between the cardio and strength is good too.
 
2. How long of a rest between reps during strength training should I take?
    Based on the FITT Principle for Muscular Strength and Endurance beginners and intermediates
   30sec to 1 minute. If you are doing low reps with high sets then your rest time should be 2-5 minutes            between sets.

3.When should I increase my weights for strength training?
   When it stops being challenging. You want to overload your muscles so they become stronger.

5. Should I eat before I workout?
     I heard this as a myth: Don't eat before a workout. Wrong.  Your body needs energy to
     perform, especially if it is going to be high intensity. It does not have to be a huge meal, but
     a healthy snack like a banana with some peanut butter or low fat yogurt with some fruit.

6. How many days a week do I have to workout to lose weight?
    It depends on your goals and what you are trying to achieve. ACSM recommends 200-300 minutes each     week of moderate-intensity exercise. With my clients i typically train high intensity twice a week with the       other days of moderate intensity 30-60 minutes. Keep in mind food plays a huge factor in weight loss.

7.  Why am I not losing weight if I work out everyday?
      In my experience it could be one or all of the three:
     1.The exercise you are doing is not challenging enough,
     2. Food. You are eating more then what your are burning.
     3. Medical reasons.

  8  How long should  warm up and cool down?
     Ten minutes to warm-up and five-ten minutes to cool-down.
     
9. When will I be able to do a head stand pushup?
      Practice makes perfect. Workout and strengthen upper body with strength training.

Motivational Monday: Why do we quit after starting a fitness plan?

Unfortuntly sometimes this happens. 

So why do we fall off the wagon. Below are the reasons that I heard over the years. 

Top 5 Reason we quit an exercise routine:

Not enough time

We don't see results 

We get injured

We don't know what to do

We feel uncomfortable 

It's not easy I know. I always tell my clients that every journey begins with a single step. Once you take that step then you have to finish it. Life does get in the way, and there seems to be are not enough hours in the day. But make time for you. Your health is the key to a comfortable long life. If we quit every time we are uncomfortable then we wouldn't achieve anything. It will not be easy, but I promise if you put in 100 percent, it will be worth it.

Chris's Journey: #37: A Tale of Two Weights, NSVs and Other Random Thoughts

Go Chris!! I am so proud of him! Today he took my 30 minute Bootcamp class, and did weights, and ten more minutes of cardio!!!

It has been nine weeks since my surgery and what a strange trip it has been. I am basically learning everything all over again. Learning to eat, learning to walk and learning to exercise. I am also continuing the long process of learning to love and care for myself. It is my job to care and take care of me. At the end of the day, that is the most important part of my process.

Don’t Speak Double Speak

I constantly double speak to myself. I will say one thing out loud to everyone and then not back it up by meaning it to myself. It is one thing to say, I love me, it is another to actually live those words out. I am constantly trying to find a middle ground where I am my best critic and not always my worst one. Showing oneself compassion is a great gift. We are able to forgive others so easy, yet we do not forgive ourselves for even the smallest transgression. I constantly beat myself up for eating this over that, or even not eating enough calories in one day. I rarely have a day where I am easy on myself. It is a challenge I have to work on. By choosing to do the surgery, I won the battle against myself when it comes to my weight. I now have to celebrate and accept that the battle is over and I have won. It is a lot harder than it sounds trust me.

My Two Weights

I have confused some people about talking of the two weights that I have. There are two weight losses that I have been talking about lately. The first is the 100 pound weight. Back in 2011 when I had a doctor’s visit, I saw the scale show its largest number I have ever seen: 481 pounds. So when last week I celebrated for being 381, it was a celebration of my highest weight and the loss from that. I will not celebrate that number much. Maybe when I hit 150 or 200 pounds lost from my heaviest? The weight that I consider my true starting point is from January 16, 2014 when I weighed in for the first time with my bariatric surgeon and began my path to surgery. I was 450 pounds at that appointment. I am 381 pounds now, so that means I am 69 pounds down. That fateful date in January is when I actively started to pursue healing and weight loss to take care of myself. That is why that second number is more important to me and not just the highest number.

NSVs

I still have a hard time seeing the weight loss on me. I did one of those side by side pictures and even though my face does look smaller, my body just does not look different to me. I wish it does, but sadly in my eyes I am still the size I have always been. So NSV (Non Scale Victories) are so important to me. So here are a few NSVs that are helping me see the weight loss I am going through.

• I am now able to wear 4XLT shirts. Cannot remember the last time that happened • I was able to fit in a normal size CAT Scan machine (had to get a test done)…that felt amazing • I am walking faster. I am walking right around 20 minute miles now. I was able to do my first sub 20 minute mile on July 5th (19:41). • I worked out for the first time with weights last Thursday. It was an amazing time. I felt so good and so healthy. After the work out was over, I had such a high that I had not felt in a very long time.

So it is all systems go now. I need to keep focusing on working out with weights and walking. I need to focus on feeling good about myself. I need to NOT focus on the scale. I need to focus on how healthy I feel. And I need to continue to find good NSVs that will help me see that I am losing weight and not just look in the mirror. There is a reason why this is a journey and not a race. It is ongoing and it is LONG. But it is also very much worth it.

Sincerely, Chris

Theindia's Journey: #1 The Beginning

Hi, I'm TheIndia, and at the age of 27 I stepped on the scale in my doctor’s office and was told I weighed in at 269 pounds. I was so hurt that day that I went home and cried. I didn't blame anybody but myself for that number. After I let those tears fall I vowed to change my life from that day forward. It was not that I had always been a small framed woman. As far back as I remember I have always been heavier than most kids in my class and that was OK (or so I thought). I was always active and always busy, so my weight never slowed me down. In high school I "grew into" my shape. What I mean by “grew in to my shape” was I didn't get smaller, but I had my body parts form in the proper place. I had an hour glass figure that most of my classmates worked hard for, so I became OK with the way I looked. But after seeing the number on that scale...I had to make a change. Not just for myself, but for my kids. It's not fun having to tell them you don't want to do this or that because you are too tired. I have learned that you never know what life has in store for you.

At the beginning of my journey, there were many challenges. And not just challenges with eating right or exercising...but personal challenges. I had no idea at the time but I was an emotional eater. It was when my mother had surgery and my father was admitted into hospice that I realized I was an emotional eater. I would find myself eating just to eat. I was not hungry, but just felt the need to eat because eating made me happy. I realized that I had a problem when I found myself at the grocery store about to have a melt down because they discontinued ice cream that I had fallen in love with. First of all, thank goodness nobody was in the store to witness my mini adult temper tantrum. Secondly, it was at that point in time that I realized I had a problem. I decided to never let food dictate my life or emotions ever again. I am proud to say since that day, I have not had any more ice cream (nor have I been back to that grocery store).

So I have told you my then. It is time to tell you about my story now! Since that dreaded day at the doctor’s office I have lost 20 pounds! Yes, me! The lady who would have a gym membership just to have one has managed to lose 20 pounds in 8 months. That may not seem like a lot, but I am beyond proud of myself! How did I do that you ask? Well, it was not easy by a long shot. It all started when I had the bright idea to push myself to the limit and stop using excuses as a crutch. I love to read so I began reading blogs on the internet and would find so much inspiration and motivation that I thought to myself that it would be cool to tell my story. But it was just that...a thought. It was not until I received an email from my amazing trainer asking me that very question, "do you want to tell your story?" All I could think to myself was...”is she a mind reader”? I still have not quite figured everything out, but I am so glad she asked me to do this. In speaking with my friends and family about writing a blog, all the feedback I got was to go for it and to tell my story. I am so happy to have the opportunity to write my thoughts and emotions and even my embarrassing melt down in hope to one day inspire someone else to start their own weight loss journey.

Sincerely, TheIndia

Chris's Journey # 36: “I’m a Loser Baby”

In my last issue I told all of you about 2011 and my 37th birthday. I was 481 pounds around that time. I remember when I went to the doctor and they weighed me and I saw 481 pounds, and I was relieved. RELIEVED! I was not 500 pounds. I really thought I was a quarter of a ton. But I was not. How sad was it that I was happy that I was 481 pounds? Makes me shake my head even now. So I went to the doctor on Monday and they did what doctor’s do, they weighed me. The scale said 381 pounds. 100 pounds lost since that fateful time three years ago. 100 pounds lost. 500 pounds is no longer on my radar, 200 pounds is. I walked 2 miles in the heat today. I walked my 5th marathon a few days ago (over 131 total miles). I am the most fit I have ever been in years. I am in charge of my life for the first time in years. 100 pounds lost since my heaviest. 69 pounds down since I started the bariatric process on January 16, 2014. Feeling good about myself and my progress. How about them apples? Sincerely, Chris

5 day Ab Challenge: Day 5

300 Abs

30 Crunches

Lie on your back on the floor. Bend your knees. Your feet can be flat on the floor, or you can keep them suspended in the air during your crunches for a little extra crunch.Cross your arms in front of your chest. Your head and neck should be resting on your hands. Lift your shoulders towards the ceiling using your abdominal muscles and pause at the peak. It is very important not to lift your entire back off the floor, When y our shoulders are off the ground, pause and hold that position for a full second (or more).

20 Bicycles Crunches

Lie flat on the floor with your lower back pressed to the ground and contract your core muscles.With your hands gently holding your head, lift your knees to about a 45-degree angle. Slowly, at first, go through a bicycle pedal motion.Alternately touching your elbows to the opposite knees as you twist back and forth.

30 Vertical Toe Touches

Stretch out on the ground. Legs vertical. Arms wide open and palms facing the ceiling.Raise your trunk keeping your legs as firmly as possible in the same position.Try to touch the outside of your ankles with your fingers.

20 Reverse Crunches

Lie on the floor and place hands on the floor or behind the head.

Bring the knees in towards the chest until they're bent to 90 degrees, with feet together or crossed. Contract the abs to curl the hips off the floor, reaching the legs up towards the ceiling. Lower and repeat for 1-3 sets of 12-16 reps.It's a very small movement, so try to use your abs to lift your hips rather than swinging your legs and creating momentum

15 Side Plank Hip Lifts (R)

Lie on right side, left foot crossed over right, right elbow under shoulder, and left hand on hip. Press into right forearm and raise right hip and thigh off ground. Lower hip without touching mat, then lift again.

30 Crunches

Lie on your back on the floor. Bend your knees. Your feet can be flat on the floor, or you can keep them suspended in the air during your crunches for a little extra crunch.Cross your arms in front of your chest. Your head and neck should be resting on your hands. Lift your shoulders towards the ceiling using your abdominal muscles and pause at the peak. It is very important not to lift your entire back off the floor, When y our shoulders are off the ground, pause and hold that position for a full second (or more).

15 Side Plank Hip Lifts (L)

Lie on right side, left foot crossed over right, right elbow under shoulder, and left hand on hip. Press into right forearm and raise right hip and thigh off ground. Lower hip without touching mat, then lift again.

20 Bicycles Crunches

Lie flat on the floor with your lower back pressed to the ground and contract your core muscles.With your hands gently holding your head, lift your knees to about a 45-degree angle. Slowly, at first, go through a bicycle pedal motion.Alternately touching your elbows to the opposite knees as you twist back and forth.

40 Russian twists

Start out sitting on the floor with your knees bent so that you can place your feet flat on the ground. Lean back so that your body is in a 45-degree angle,, while keeping your back straight. Raise your feet up until your lower legs are parallel to the floor. Balancing your weight on your glutes, bend your elbows and clasp your hands together in front of your chest. Twist your torso to the right side and try to bring your hands as close as you can to the floor. Move only your upper body while keeping your abdominals engaged throughout the motion. Finally, twist over to the left side and bring your hands toward the floor. Avoid using momentum – be sure to control the motion. To complete one set, continue twisting from the right to the left side.

30 Bicycles crunches

Lie flat on the floor with your lower back pressed to the ground and contract your core muscles.With your hands gently holding your head, lift your knees to about a 45-degree angle. Slowly, at first, go through a bicycle pedal motion.Alternately touching your elbows to the opposite knees as you twist back and forth.

15 Obliques v-ups (R)

Lie on your left side, legs angled 30 degrees from your hips. Rest your left arm on the floor and put your right hand behind your head . Lift your straight legs off the floor, bringing your torso toward your legs . Slowly return to start. That's one rep.

20 Reverse Crunches

Lie on the floor and place hands on the floor or behind the head.

Bring the knees in towards the chest until they're bent to 90 degrees, with feet together or crossed. Contract the abs to curl the hips off the floor, reaching the legs up towards the ceiling. Lower and repeat for 1-3 sets of 12-16 reps.It's a very small movement, so try to use your abs to lift your hips rather than swinging your legs and creating momentum.

15 Obliques v-ups (L)

Lie on your left side, legs angled 30 degrees from your hips. Rest your left arm on the floor and put your right hand behind your head . Lift your straight legs off the floor, bringing your torso toward your legs . Slowly return to start. That's one rep.

References:  www.passion4profession.net, wiki.com, www.workout-x.com. The 300 abs can be found all over the internet- bodybuilding.com, muscle and fitness.

As with all forms of exercise, you should consult with your physician or healthcare professional before undertaking any of the fitness training discussed in this blog. Any application of the techniques, ideas, and suggestions in this blog should be used as a guideline. Always do a proper warm-up, stretch, and cooldown