Chris's Journey #49

Issue #49: What Kind of Day Has It Been

One year ago from today I began a journey and what a journey it has been! A year ago I woke up early and went walking 1.6 miles in order to get tired before having a sleep study done. I never realized what just one walk would have done to me and friends invested in me in the past year. It still gives me goose bumps just thinking about it. I decided on this one year anniversary that I would look back on the past year (especially my first blog entry posted on 10/22/2013) and see everything that has changed. Come on and walk back with me.

On October 22, 2013 I announced to the world that I was a single male and 455 pounds. Plain Vanilla (Francesca) posted this awful picture of me with my sweet nephews. If you go back and look at that picture you will see a man who truly disliked just about everything about himself. I was round, I was sad and I was hurting physically and emotionally.  I kept my hurt to myself mostly trying to be the happy fat guy. Only those closest to me knew of my hurt. I knew that when I started this journey that if I was going to try to heal that I had to be open and honest. I made a promise to Francesca that I was going to not hold anything back. With the exception of only a few subjects, I truly believe that I have kept that promise to her. I have talked about my depression, my food addiction, my size, my loneliness, my walking, my surgery, and all the struggles in between. This blog and this journey have truly changed my life and I believe for the better.

So let’s tackle the weight topic real quick. On 10/22/2013 I was 455 pounds. As of 10/15/2014 I am now 322 pounds. Wow…a 133 pound drop in a year (my BMI has dropped from 69 to 49)! Now I will agree that the bariatric surgery that I had in May 2014 did have a lot to do with it. But after seeing my doctor (the awesome Dr. Rao) my weight loss has still been dramatic. In her words no one has lost more that she has seen in such a short amount of time. Now, I truly believe the reason why my weight loss has been so quick was not because of the surgery but because of the work that I have been putting in. I usually walk long distances 2 to 3 times a week. I work out and attend fitness classes at least once or twice a week. I keep my calories as close to 1,200 calories a day. I very rarely eat sweets. I still depend on carbs too much and I will have to face that monster soon enough. But 80 percent of what I do is healthy and focused on me achieving my goals of living a healthy life. I have gone down from a 6X shirt to a 3X shirt. I am still in my old 4X pants, but I wear them where they are supposed to be now at the belly button instead of at the gut. I do not hurt getting out of bed anymore. I do not get exhausted getting dressed any longer. I can tie my shoes now standing up instead of having to sit down. My stomach no longer touches my steering wheel in my car. It is just the best time of my life now. And every day gets better and better.

Let’s talk about a year of walking! I missed 2 months of walking because of the surgery. May and June were walkless, but I still have gotten in 95 walks and walked 184.5 miles. I have gone through 2 pairs of walking shoes (I actually own 2 pairs of excellent walking shoes to make sure I have the support I need). My last walk that I did I walked 4.24 miles in one walk, my longest one to date. The last 5K that I did, I did not struggle walking the whole thing. I even passed people on the course! I was not the last person to cross the line. I beat several people across that line and I had room to spare!

I addressed being single a lot in the blog. It was such a struggle for me for the longest time. I felt like I did not deserve the love of a woman because of my size. It was all about my attitude and feeling good and loving myself, which I did not. I worked on that a lot the past year with my counselor: learning to love myself and knowing I am good enough. Well I finally listened! As I continued to heal and take care of myself a funny thing happened. I met an amazing woman. I have been dating her for 4 months now. I am so blessed to have her in my life and I know I am a blessing in her life too. But as grateful as I am for this relationship with her, I am more excited about the relationship with me! I like taking care of myself now. I like doing things that are good for me. I love me and I am not afraid to say it! I said on my birthday blog that my 40th year will be my best one yet. Well 7 months in and it has been my best year yet!

I am also so grateful for all the support that you all have given me over the last year. All the “likes” on Facebook. ALL the wonderful comments everyone has taken the time to write. I cherish every word you write to me. It gives me encouragement and strength. You all are a blessing to me as well. I cannot thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Finally, I said in that first blog that I have been a quitter my whole life. Well it is a year later and I have not quit yet. I have not stopped. I have had bumps, but I keep charging ahead. I fight for every step I take and every pound I lose. I am still fighting my food addiction, but I am realizing that food no longer rules my life. Food is not my reason to be here. It is not my source of comfort. Food is a way to nourish myself so that I can live my life to the fullest. So I can go to concerts, ride roller coasters, take my girl out on a date, and sit comfortable in a pew at church and concentrate on my time with God and not my size.  I am not a quitter anymore. I am a fighter and I will not be stopped until the job is completed.

And I am just getting started…wait till you see what I do in year 2.

Sincerely, Chris