The pics above are Chris, myself, and some other great friends at the Color Me Rad 5K! Lots of FUN!
Entry 24: The Redemption of Chris Hollister
I love a good redemption story. The fall from grace, the mud on your face, and the picking yourself up, cleaning yourself off and learning and becoming stronger and better. My favorite movies on redemption are the original Star Wars trilogy. The redemption story is of Anakin Skywalker, father to Luke and Leia. He fell from grace some 25 years prior to the last movie. He had destroyed the Jedi, and had unleashed tyranny throughout a universe. He was deadly and he was evil. Then he found out that he was a father. Because he was a father, he sensed a love for his children that eventually brought him back to the light. In the end, Anakin or Darth Vader decided to save his son and destroy his master the Emperor. By doing that he redeemed himself and coming out of the dark (side).
My favorite story of redemption is the apostle Paul in the Bible. As a servant of Christ, Paul was relentless. He wanted to scream to people about the Good News from the top of his lungs. Boldly talking about Jesus and what He meant to the world on a daily basis. Whether it was from jail, or on countryside, he stayed steadfast in the light. But Paul was not always that way. Paul used to be known as Saul, and Saul was as evil as they come. Saul persecuted Christians and murdered them on sight. Saul was relentless at destroying everything Jesus had created. But Jesus knew exactly what to do with Saul, make Saul His own. Jesus revealed Himself to Saul in an amazing way making Saul have no other choice but accept Christ. When Saul changed his life, he decided to change his name because Paul was reborn. Paul was redeemed.
So what do Darth Vader and Saul have to do with me? Well I am in a bit of my own redemption story right now. I decided openly not to take care of myself for way too many years. I decided that my life was not worth the life I was given. I decided that food was more important to me and that I was not worth the life I was living. I was destroying my own universe. With my depression, I stayed away from friends. With my addiction, I broke my body down, stretched it out to exaggerated proportions, and chose the terrible dark path over and over again. I ignored friends and family’s cries to help myself. I did not destroy others, but I did destroy me.
So redemption always is a slow burn. I wish it was like Saul who was blinded but then saw the light. But for me my redemption started with every step I began to take with my walking. My redemption continued when I started this journey blog. And my redemption will go even further when I lose the weight and get to a healthier self. I cannot wait for a day that I look in the mirror and I am proud of what I see. I am foreseeing a future with a healthier and brighter Chris. Participating in activities I cannot participate in now. Where I love myself and not depend on other people to love me but to find my own worth and my own value for my life.
Redemption stories in real life are never fancy. Redemption stories are messy. But redemption stories, just like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, are beautiful. As I said in last week’s posting, “I am awesome”. It all goes back to that. Redeeming myself in my own eyes and telling myself that I am worth it. I am special. I am loved by me. I am redeeming myself to me. I spent too long tearing myself down, destroying myself. Now continues my redemption to the man I was born to become.
Sincerely, Chris
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