Heaviest Weight: 481. January 2014 Weight: 450. Surgery Weight: 426. Current Weight: 389. Miles Walked: 129.4 miles. Hours Walked 49 Hours 32 Minutes. Times Walked: 70. I have been cleared to walk for the past 2 weeks, and I have not been doing it. I told myself that after the surgery was over with that I would not be lazy. I would work hard and get this weight down. And after the surgery I really wanted to move around. I got restless and wanted to move. I got excited because, I figured this is what I would be like from here on out. I was wrong. A week and a half ago, my doctor gave me the approval to start walking (not work out). I was excited and set my alarm early to get up and walk. The next day, the alarm went off and I went back to sleep. The next day, I did the same thing, falling back in to old lazy habits. It is easy not to do something. It is easy to sit there or sleep in for another 20 minutes. The hard part is getting up strapping on those shoes and getting out there. People ask me what is my secret to getting out there and walking. To be honest, I do not have one. I really wish I did. I wish there was an on and off switch inside all of us that allows us to work out and walk or run anytime we needed to. Or an automatic switch like automatic sprinklers that just turned on and got us moving. There is not one of those. It takes one day of saying, I have to do this and it is now or never. It is asking do I love myself enough to sacrifice sleep or time with a spouse or something important and to exercise and move. Accountability partners help, but the only person you can truly be accountable for is you. I truly wish there was another way, but there is not. If we do not take it upon ourselves then the phantom menace of laziness or procrastination will take over and we (or I) will never do it. The last two days I have gotten up, strapped my shoes on and walked. It is time to create a new habit and not a lazy one. The other phantom menace I still have is the scale. I gave myself a 2 week moratorium from weighing in because the last weigh in did not give me the results I wanted and I was angry. My counselor made the suggestion to not weigh in for two weeks. I protested as soon as she made the recommendation. I protested hard until I saw what I was saying. I saw myself falling in to that addiction all over again. But this time my addiction was not food, but an obsession of a number on a scale. The decision was easy and I have not weighted myself until today. But before my weigh in, I remembered a conversation I had with a friend last week. She is in Overeaters Anonymous and she battles the ups and downs of food addiction just like I do. She told me something very powerful that her sponsor told her, “Your weight is actually none of your business”. The sponsor explained that as long as you are following your plan and doing the things that you needed to do, that God was in control and He would take care of the rest. To me, that was very comforting. I realized something that I had not thought of in weeks. The weight is NOT important. The health IS important. So today when I weighed myself I told myself that this scale does not show my worth. God thinks I am worthy, so I am worthy. My family and friends think I am worthy, so I am worthy. I think I am worthy, so I am worthy. And I got on the scale confident that the number did not define me. My life defines who I am. I took the power back from the scale. The scale no longer defines me. I define me. Be aware of the phantom menaces in your life. And also be aware that you are more than those issues. You are special and worthy, and if you want it bad enough, you can accomplish anything. Even walking or getting on and off a scale. Sincerely, Chris
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