Chris's Journey #48: Everyone Needs a Helping Hand

I had a friend of mine message me the other day about being an accountability partner with them and if I could share some tips with them on what was working for me losing weight. I was honored to be asked and wrote them back with some things that helped me out. After reading over the message again, I thought that some of the ideas may help out some of you reading this blog. Here is what I wrote them:

• Start immediately! Tomorrow never comes. I use to tell myself "I will start on Monday" well Monday never came. I never started then. What happened with me is one day I just started to walk. That looks like it might be the same for you.

• You have a significant other. Talk with them about helping you out. Go on walks together. Tell them not to take no for an answer...to drag you out there. And do not start big...that is where most people fail. They try to start exercising by walking 5 miles. That is just asking for failure. Start with around the block or a half mile. If you feel like going more, go for it...but start small and build up. (If you do not have a significant other, then ask someone to partner with you. Working out with a buddy is much more fun than by yourself)

• You said you are exhausted after work. What about before work? There are times I get up even 15 minutes early and just walk for those 15 minutes before starting the day. 15 minutes is better than nothing and is better than sitting on the couch or lying in bed.

• Find things that are fun for you to do and do them. If it is swimming or bike riding...or even shopping…just do it. I walk around the mall all the time when it is too hot or if it is raining. If you want to meet on a Saturday at one of the malls and do laps...let me know. They are a huge help.

• Finally, if you miss a day DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF! It is OK to miss a day. But set yourself up for success. Put your walking shoes or gym bag by the door ready to go. Put a sign on the fridge that asks you: Are you hungry? How hungry are you? What are you hungry for? Little things that you do to change behavior will lead to big things that change behavior.

• You can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are just in a rut right now. Everyone gets in them. Just ask people to help you get out of the rut.

Let me stress a few points here. First, on the do not start big, please know how true this is. It is asking your body to go zero to sixty without anytime to prep. Make a commitment that is realistic. Start with once or twice a week with a realistic amount. Think about it this way, even if you do once a week, that is still once a week more than where you were. And start with a realistic exercise. Commit to that realistic one and if you can do more, then great! We set ourselves up for failure so much just by aiming too big and then giving up because it is too much.
Do not be hard on yourself is the number one advise I need to give everyone. No one tears us down like we tear ourselves down. If you miss that one day you do not exercise, it does you no good to beat yourself up. You have to just figure out a new way to get yourself going. Try different ways to get yourself to the gym or to walk or to where ever you want to exercise or move. I pack my gym bag and place it by the front door every night that will be exercising the next day. I put up signs around my house to encourage me to get out there and move. Try several things that might help you out. Once you find the one thing that helps out, then do it and stick with it.

Being too tired after work makes perfect sense. We all work hard whether it is in an office building or being the CEO of a family keeping everything running smoothly. When you get married and/or have kids (I can only imagine) it gets harder and harder. But you need to take that 15 minutes (or more) for yourself. It is vital for you to figure out a way to take care of yourself, especially if you have a family. Work with your family on you finding a time for you and stick with it. You are very important and you should treat yourself as important.

These are just a few of my thoughts. There are thousands more. Find what works best for you and try stuff out. There is no right way or wrong way. There is the way that works for you. Just start moving and your body will thank you!

Sincerely, Chris

The Theindia's Journey #3: A well balanced plate.

A well balanced plate

We have all heard the expression, 'are you happy?' And this expression comes with 2 simple answers...if the answer is yes, keep doing what you are doing! But if the answer is no, revaluate what you are doing and make a change. This is where I was a few weeks ago.

See, you never realize how much is on your plate until you go thru a full day of all of your duties. As you all know, I am a mother of 2 grade school children, a full time employee, and a 3/4 college student (meaning I take 3 classes, so not quite a full time student but close enough). Well, to add to my already full plate I have added baseball mom for both boys! Yes, baseball season has started yet again. But I am trying not to stress. Well, I just told a small lie, a few weeks ago I did stress! How in the world am I going to go to work, go to class, take the kids to baseball, study, and workout?!?! There are only 24 hours in a day and per the mind law, you have to sleep at least 8 of those (lol). Yes, this sounds like a lot and it is. Which brings me to my question...are you happy? Well, at that point the answer was NO. It was a little more verbal than no, but I would rather not repeat those words. So what did I do? I sat down and reevaluated what wasn't making me happy. And the answer was I was stressed. My first priority was to not revert back to the old Theindia. In my mind I had already set out to see what can I remove from this list and you know what the first choice that came to my mind...that's right, my health/fitness goals. The old bad part of me had already written off my fitness goals as a loss. But my new frame of mind said no not this time. It is weird it was like my mind had already told my body and I began to feels self get lazy. Oh no, not this time I said to myself. So I wrote a list and started to prioritize my days. I wrote down the top items that needed to be done on specific days and then I wrote down what could be rearranged to fit. And what do you know...I have this plate of mine balanced.

What does this have to do with my fitness goals you may ask...the answer is a lot. See the old me would have cancelled my gym membership, hung up my running shoes, and pulled out the ice cream. But not the new me. I did have to cut back at the gym, but I did not give it up. I now walk/run while my boys are at baseball practice, as well as on the weekends if I can't hit the gym I take the boys and we practice baseball or go for a walk. I have kept up with my health eating and stayed a long long way from junk food. I refuse to go back to old habits. I made that commitment to myself this year and I am sticking to that goal.

I'm not able to report double digit weight loss numbers, but I will take my 4 pound loss as a gain. Slow and steady is the way to win the race. So I ask myself today, "am I happy?", and guess what, that answer is YES!!

Chris's Journey #47: The Journey Continues

Issue #47: The Journey Continues…

I walked my 91st walk last Friday, walking 3.5 miles in a little over an hour. Almost a year in this journey to get healthy and blogging about it and I am finally starting to enjoy this walking thing. If I have not walked in a while, I can feel it. Not walking makes me feel sluggish and like something is missing in my life. Walking has become cathartic to me. It allows me to have time to myself to think things out or to just breathe or spend time in prayer and reflection. For the 20 minutes to an hour that I am out it is all about me, and that is nice to have.

Here is the breakdown of 91 walks from October 17, 2013 to September 19, 2014 (11 months):

·         172.3 miles walked
·         64 Hours 55 Minutes walked
·         Over 45,000 calories burned
·         Over 113 pounds lost

So 9 more walks until my 100th walk.

I have less than 30 miles till 200 miles.

One month to go before I hit a year of walking and beginning this journey.

47 blog posts written with 45 of them being on time.

I have a met an amazing woman whom I call my girlfriend now. I finally had the confidence to ask a woman out and she said yes. We celebrated 3 months of dating last week. This is my longest relationship ever. Because I have learned to like and love myself, I am now able to love someone else. Yes, you heard me right. I love her, she loves me. The areas of my life are this good because I started this journey 11 months ago.  Who would have thought that a walk with its sole goal of getting tired for a sleep study would become an inferno in my life changing everything? I would not have thought it for one minute. But it has happened and continues to happen every day I am on this journey.

For those of you who are frustrated with the way your journey is going, the only thing I can tell you is that it starts with one step forward. Even if there is a time that you go five steps back, you have to keep walking forward. Thomas Edison said, “Many of life's failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” This is so true. All of us are all so close to success, but because of our frustrations we lose sight and stop. Are you up to taking one step forward? The minute you step forward once, you are on the road to getting to where you want to be. You may step back a bit, but as long as you keep focused on the journey in front of you and not behind you, you will succeed. Success will not be over night, but it will be there ready for you to take it.

I have plenty of people and dear friends say that I inspire them. I am grateful for such wonderful words. Inspire yourself to just take a step forward. For me the journey continues and will continue for the rest of my life. What about your journey? Has it started or do you need to start it? Inspires yourselves! You never know where just one step will take you.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #46: Under Construction

At the beginning of the year, I got in my car to drive to work. It was a normal week day morning. As I made a right turn, I noticed that the steering wheel was a little harder to turn than usual. Then I made a left and felt the same thing. I pulled over at a gas station and struggled to look under the car at why it was hard to turn. I did not see anything. I shrugged it off and got back in the car. I started the car again and began to drive. I got to a turn and once again it was a struggle to turn. I happened to look down at the steering wheel this time and saw that the steering wheel was dragging on my stomach. I was wearing a jacket because it was cool outside and saw that it was me that was making it harder to steer. My stomach was now getting in the way of me driving. To say this was depressing was an understatement. But it was my old normal.

My body is going through some serious changes right now. I am exercising harder than I ever have. I am eating less food than I ever have. My back is giving me a lot of issues. My body is adjusting to the fact that I have less fat on it, and my back is recalculating the weight that it supports. My skin burns in certain places around my body (especially around the stomach). This is from my skin not expanding as much as it was. Losing the weight is a great thing, but losing it at the pace that I am does have side effects. My back and skin are just some of them.

Let’s talk about some of the good side effects. I am now in 4X shirts and they are even getting loose on me. It is easier for me to shop for clothes now. Clothes shopping can actually be fun. That thought scares me, but it is becoming true. I can walk faster and hurt less. As you read in last week’s blog I walked my fastest mile and 5K in the same day. Plus I had plenty of energy to go to my uncle’s house for a little Labor Day fun. It is easier for me to get out of bed. I LOVE this. I do not hurt when I get up in the morning. I do not hurt or get out of breath when I put clothes on. When I sit, I can put my foot on my leg now! That is so awesome. I literally yipped out loud when my foot stayed on my leg. I almost have a lap now. I cannot wait for the day my Godson or nephews or even my girlfriend can sit in my lap. That will be a good day.

But wait there is more! I can sit comfortably in the pew at church now. I use to have to prop my stomach on the top of the pew in front of me or sit in the front row (it does not have another pew in front) so that I would not hurt. Now I can sing, move, and praise in my pew. That is a great feeling. I can even walk in a crowd and feel like everyone is not trying to get around me. I am smaller and I can move with traffic. I am even able to clean house without any pain at all. I can just clean and clean and not get out of breath. I am still working to be on my knees, but that will take time.

Finally, my stomach no longer touches the steering wheel. Look at the picture above. I have plenty of room there now. I remember the first time I saw that it did not touch. It was about a month after the surgery and I could get a finger in between the steering wheel and my body. I was so excited I was shaking. I quickly took a picture of it and send it to my friends. And now 4 months later, I can put 4 fingers in between me and my steering wheel. It was seeing that my stomach did not touch that showed me that I was doing this. I am losing the weight. I am taking it seriously. I will be keeping it off.

In the four months since the surgery, I have lost 22 inches total around my body. I am in the best shape I have been in 10 or more years. I am active, I am comfortable and I am learning to like me more. It is going to take some time to learn how to love me to the fullest, but I am getting there. But for right now, my stomach does not touch the steering wheel, and that is an amazing thing.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris's Journey #45: No compromises

On Labor Day I got up really early on a day off and made the trek to Baymeadows Blvd to participate in the Run Jax Labor Day 5K. This would be my first 5K (official) since my surgery. I was super excited to participate in the run. I had been feeling healthy and stronger and I was eager to see how I would do on this early morning. Here are some of the thoughts that I had on what would be my 7th official 5K.

• Before the race began, I met a nice man by the name of Joe. He was super friendly and introduced himself to me as we sat and waited for the race to begin. He was an older gentleman, but had great strength in his voice. He said that he was proud of me for being my size and being out there. I thanked him and kept sitting there. He then told me he was 90 years old. 90 years old? Are you kidding me? I was instantly humbled. He was excited to walk and happy to just enjoying his life. It was a real pleasure to meet him.

• The one problem with being the last person to finish the race was the police car that ends up following you while you walk. To ensure that no one hits any of the runners / walkers there are a lot of police officers available to make sure that no cars get through. When you are the last walker out there, the last police car follows slowly RIGHT behind you. I hated that car following me around, even though I understand the need for it being there. I cannot wait until I walk so fast that I am not the last person on the race track.

• This may seem trivial (warfare) but I love races that give out medals to all that finish. Sadly, not all races or 5Ks do. I got spoiled with my first 5K giving out a medal. Sadly it was not until this latest race that I got my second medal. It is proudly hanging up next to my first medal. I love having something that shows I accomplished something I never would have done a year ago.

• I still love getting my number and pinning it to my shirt. That race numbers means more to me than anything else. This past year I became an athlete. Those numbers that hang on my wall prove it. I cherish each of them.

• I did this last 5K faster than anyone that I did before. I pushed myself and finished the race with less than an 18 minute mile average! I felt amazing looking at the stats. It is one of the few times that I was proud of myself. After the race was over, my feet and knees were killing me. I pushed myself so hard that my body ached. I do not care. I did the 5K in less than an hour. When I was almost done with my first mile of the 5K on Monday, my feet hurt and I had a crisis of faith and really wanted to stop. Then the phrase “No Compromise” came in to my head. As soon as I accepted that slogan, there was no way I was quitting. Just like this weight plan I am on, there are no compromises. Just live life to the fullest and do the most I can do with the time that I have. No Compromise!

If you are able to complete a 5K, think about running a race. I cannot tell you what it has done to my self-esteem. I feel better and stronger for the number of miles I have walked. The support you get from complete strangers is amazing. It is something I will always be grateful for. I am excited for my next 5K and excited that this will be a regular event for me in the years to come.

Sincerely, Chris

Chris Journey #44: I am a Ferrari! Or a Mercedes!

“Do you not know that your body is a tempe of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” 1 Corinthians 6:19

“Honor God with your body” 1 Corinthians 6:20

“You treat your body like a temple. I treat mine like a tent.” – Jimmy Buffet, Fruitcakes

During service last Sunday, my pastor Jason Cullum gave an amazing sermon on why it is important for us to take care of our one body. Our bodies, our lives are the one of first gift God gives to us. Jason gave very good points on how we feel compelled to speak to someone if they are drinking too much, or even if we know someone is cheating on their spouses. However if we see someone constantly eating too much, we will not say anything to them. Now Jason was not meaning to pick on people who are overweight or obese, but he was saying that it is our responsibility to our brothers and sisters to discuss with them concerns when we are hurting our bodies.

Jason continued to give an excellent example on the differences between owning a Ferrari and owning a 1980 Mazda 626 (his first car). If we owned the Ferrari, we would do everything in our powers to take care of it. We would put a tarp on it, house it in a garage, and make sure that it was clean and tuned up and ready to perform. What about his Mazda 626? Well it had garbage in it, it was always dirty, and if a ding got on it, no big deal. So if God gave us a Ferrari body (well I was thing Porsche or Mercedes) then why are we treating our bodies like that 1980 Mazda 626? That point really hit home for me.

I put both verses that Jason used in the sermon at the beginning of the blog. I also put Jimmy Buffett’s verse from his song Fruitcakes. I put that verse up top because for the majority of my life I did treat my body as a tent. I did not care how I felt, how I looked, or how I was as long as I got the food inside me. I wish I could say that I did it because I loved the taste of food. That I ate nothing but the best foods. But it was neither! I did not like the taste of food. I did not eat the best foods. I ate mostly fast foods all day, every day. I ate all that I could so that I could feel full. So that I could be stuffed. That was the sensation I wanted. I wanted to be stuffed, all the time.

Because I decided not to treat my body like a temple, I sacrificed so much. I sacrificed God’s plan for me for the longest time. I sacrificed not working with teenagers (a passion of mine) for almost 10 years. I sacrificed energy to play with my nephews and Godsons. I sacrificed meaningful dating relationships. I sacrificed my self- esteem. All because I did not care about myself enough to treat myself as the Mercedes that God created me to be.

“Guilt just does not work” was the statement Jason finished the sermon with. Thankfully my friend Amanda loaned me her pen so I could write that quote down. “Guilt just does not work”. I could lament and feel guilty that I did not take care of myself for the longest time. I could heap guilt and more guilt on my conscious. But why? Why should I continue to hurt myself for my past mistakes? Haven’t I spent long enough hurting myself? I know I have. It is time to move on.

I feel like I dwell on my past way too much. Most of the time I believe that I have to keep paying the price for close to 40 years of mistakes. Why is that? Why do I feel the need to treat myself like that 1980 Mazda 626 and not like the Mercedes that God created me to be? God has a better opinion of me that I have of me. God loves me for who I am. Can’t I do just the same? Can’t I love me for me as I am now? The past is the past and it cannot be changed no matter how hard I try. And it is time to stop trying and just live my life. It is time to just be me. And that part is exciting.

My life is an unknown path now. I do not know where it will go from here on out. But I do know that I will not be the morbidly obese man I was a year ago, two years ago, or even ten years ago. I will be healthier, I will be stronger, I will be better. My body is no longer a tent or a 1980 Mazda 626. My body is under construction. My body will be a temple, a Mercedes soon enough. It will just take time and sweat to make it happen. I am super excited to see what I will be in a year from now, two years from now, and even ten years from now. No more guilt. Not more looking in the past.

I am a Ferrari. I am a Mercedes. I am worth it. Let’s see what is next. I cannot wait!

Sincerely, Chris

chris's Journey #43: Robin Williams

Like the rest of the world, I was shocked to hear about the passing away of Robin Williams last week. It was amazing the amount of sadness I had for someone that I had never met. Then the news that came out later that he killed himself due to several things going on in his life including depression. Hearing that depression was a part of, if not most of the reason for him taking his own life really hit home for me. It again shook me to my core for a personal reason.

Like millions and millions of people around the planet, I too suffer from depression. Up until the surgery I took anti-depression meds. I only got off them because with the surgery my stomach was no longer able to absorb the meds I was taking. Right now I am currently being monitored by my counselor to see if I need to go back on anti-depression medication. The determination has not been made yet, but I am super glad I have my counselor in my life that will help me take care of me better.

I bring all of this up for two reasons. First, is to tell you my story. When I was in junior high school I had thoughts of suicide on a regular basis. I was not the most popular kid in school. I was picked on about my weight on a regular basis and really just hated my life. Because of all that, I felt lonely and in pain for almost all of my junior high school days. Thankfully I never gave in to the sadness and confusion that I had. I never was able to create a plan. Also thankfully that my Mother did not believe in guns or anything. I did not have a viable option to hurt or kill myself. God was working in me even back then. Thankfully junior high became high school and there I met friends that genuinely loved and cared for me. Loneliness continues to come back in my life on a regular basis still, but the thoughts of ending my life have not. My life is not perfect, but it is my life and deserves to be lived out.

My depression now materializes in wanting to be by myself and feel unloved. During my dark periods now, I do feel unloved (even though I know that is not true) and making myself feel as alone as possible. I even have a sad song mix on my iPod so that I can use that music to get even more and more depressed. Usually it takes me hiding these feelings from my family and closest friends. It is amazing, but I rarely reach out for help. I wish I knew why. I usually keep the hurt and pain inside until one day something happens where I feel better or am distracted enough to get away from the feelings. I need to work on being stronger to reach out to people for help. The easy way out is to keep the feelings inside. The harder and healthier path is to reach out and tell someone and have them help you out. That is something I need to work on.

The second reason I tell you of my battle of depression is to let anyone who does suffer with depression know that you are not alone! There are plenty more of us out there that suffer from this disease. And it is a disease. It is in the medical disease diagnosis book known as ICD-9 (and ICD-10). Diagnosis code 311 in ICD-9 and F33 in ICD-10 (according to Google). You are not considered broken if you suffer from depression. You are not messed up if you get help with counseling and medications. You are normal and you are being healthy if you ask for help. Help is the smart thing to ask for. Ignoring it or trying to hide it is the opposite thing to do. It is hurtful and it is the painful approach. You will end up hurting yourself more and hurting your family and friends more by not asking for help. I beg you that if you are depressed and it is not going away, then to please, please, please ask for help. Talk to someone. Consider like I do and see a professional. Consider medications if that is something that a doctor recommends. Again, you are not broken! You are normal. And I am right there with you.

I hate that Robin Williams thought that the only way out he had was suicide. He was so loved by his family, friends, and (like me) fans around the world. But I can relate to his thoughts of pain and loneliness. I can relate to him feeling like his life was out of control. Thankfully, I did not take his path. Thankfully, I did not feel that out of control. Please do not feel that alone to take his path. Take your own healthier path and take care of yourself.

You are not alone.

Sincerely, Chris